Help4You home > Psychotherapy and Counselling > Psychotherapy articles
Using Counselling and psychotherapy, you can overcome the emotional difficulties or psychological problems that you have in your life. Here are some notes on some of my clients' more common problems:
Practically everyone feels 'depressed' at times in their life. They could be feeling sad about an incident, or miserable about the weather or distressed by the way their partner treats them. Where this feeling is deep and persistent, it becomes an illness (or disorder) that reaches all aspects of a person's life, affecting their sleep patterns, their self-esteem, their relationships, their energy levels and their outlook on life. However this is not a sign of personal weakness and trying to 'snap out of it' may only prolong the problem. Unfortunately persistent depression cannot be willed or wished away and you will need to work with a counsellor or psychotherapist to resolve your issues.
Common symptoms are feeling sad, worthless or pessimistic, and a loss of energy and interest in normal life activities that persist for more than six months, often worsening when daylight levels are lowest (in February in the northern hemisphere). Loved ones often notice the onset of depression in terms of loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed (including sex), decreased energy, fatigue and being "slowed down" and significant difficulty in concentrating, remembering and making decisions.
Depression can have a mixture of causes: reaction to a major shock, death of a loved one, recognition of significant loss, growth in poor self-beliefs or an accumulation of stressful events. People impacted by a difficult childhood can be prone to depression. There may even be dietary, genetic or hormonal causes for some people.
Typically the sufferer feels that their situation is hopeless, yet once they start working with a counsellor or psychotherapist, the depression might be dispelled within six weeks, using talk therapy, cognitive and behavioural therapies or art therapy. At the more severe end of the spectrum, medication may be required to support the talking therapy so that a successful outcome is achieved within six months.
Most people have family and friends with whom they live their lives and share their interests. Many people also relate to people they have never actually met: politicians, TV actors, musicians, and public figures who assume a great deal of importance in their lives. Some people have deep emotional ties to their pets. When one of these significant people dies, it is distressing and there is a sense of grief and loss, of being bereaved.
Where we have developed a strong attachment to someone, their loss can be very traumatic regardless of the circumstances. Sudden death can come in traffic accidents, criminal actions, terrorist activity or from critical illnesses like heart attacks or strokes. Less sudden changes in life occur when the loved one is very old or has a progressive illness. So the bereavement may start at the point when we recognise the loss rather than the actually moment of the death. For those left behind, someone's death is a lost relationship and their life will change.
It is natural for someone to mourn their loss, experiencing numbness, anger, sadness and physical reactions such as sleeplessness, loss of energy and loss of appetite. As they accept this loss, they need to re-adjust to the new circumstances and learn how to move on with their own life. In some cultures, the duration for loss and grief is set by ritual, with mourners expected to show their grief for a fixed period ranging from two weeks to several years. However the grieving process actually depends on the individual, with some people superficially returning to a normal pattern of life quite quickly, while others appear to take a long time to recover from their loss or have their grief erupt on the anniversaries of the loss over many years.
Sometimes this natural process of grieving and recovery becomes delayed or even stuck. Where someone's emotions have become stuck for more than two years, they can find that working with a psychotherapist or counsellor can ease the pain and help them to resolve their difficulties using a talk therapy.
Everyone has anxiety and worrying about future events is seen as an everyday occurrence. People get anxious when their children start school or university, they get anxious about exams, about changes at work, about relationship difficulties, about the health of a relative or friend and even about the outcome of a match with their football team.
In these situations, anxiety is a normal response to uncertainty and in the short term the resultant stress can even be beneficial. Entertainers and sports people sometimes note that their anxiety leads to an adrenalin rush that improves their responses and helps their performance. Where the anxious feelings are short term and they pass relatively quickly, the person addresses the uncertain situation, adapts to new circumstances and the physical and mental results of the anxiety dissipate.
Unfortunately for about 10% of the population, their anxiety persists and becomes a recognised medical condition with severe, prolonged and detrimental effects on their everyday life. For these people, the feelings associated with anxiety are far more than general nervousness and are made worse as they become dissociated from what is actually going on in the sufferer's life. To resolve persistent anxiety, you will probably need the help of a counsellor or psychotherapist. Anxiety disorders include phobias and fears about specific objects and situations, panic attacks, obsessive and compulsive behaviours and post-traumatic stress responses.
Physical symptoms may include a racing heart (palpitations), dizziness or light-headedness, stomach churn and feeling sick, shakiness and tingling sensations in arms and legs, feeling hot and flushed with rapid breathing.
Behavioural symptoms of anxiety may include making excuses to avoid going out or doing activities, choosing only quiet places or very small groups, crossing the street to avoid people, talking all the time to avoid silence, using the numbing effects of alcohol or drugs before going out and choosing seats in gatherings that are near the doors, at the end of rows or as far back as possible.
The psychological symptoms of anxiety can be deeply distressing and often include feeling unable to cope, worrying about losing your mind, thinking you are having a heart attack, feeling you are losing control, worrying you may faint or be sick and wanting to escape to a safe place.
Besides difficult life events, these chronic expressions of anxiety can be triggered by physical illnesses, dietary and chemical imbalances, alcohol and drug misuse or the withdrawal from the long-term tranquilliser use.
Commonly working with a counsellor or psychotherapist using cognitive and behavioural therapies can help within six to twelve weeks. Where the anxiety disorder is extreme or deep-seated, such as PTSD, therapists find the EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can provide the key to resolution.
Stress is personal and means different things to different people. Some people feel stressed after a tough day with the children or a frenetic time at the office. Where the stress is persistent, people become aware of passive side effects such as tension headaches; high blood pressure; concentration difficulties; and breathing difficulties and active coping mechanisms such as drink, drugs and smoking abuse, over or under-eating, high risk sports and aggression to others when driving, working or partying.
Where stress-related difficulties result in people taking time off work, avoiding their commitments at home or causing physical and mental harm to others, their stress should not be ignored and they should be encouraged to find help. Talking to a psychotherapist or counsellor can help them to work out what causes their stress and what its consequences are. Once people have this information, they can decide what changes to want to make to keep stress from escalating to damaging levels and how to manage the stress in beneficial ways.
Many programmes and adverts carried by the media show 'golden people' who seem to have happiness, wealth, ideal partners and perfect children. This offers a subliminal message of 'be like this and you can have these things too' and creates in most people pressure to aspire to these idealised images. Sometimes parents and teachers can treat children in a way that suggests that their acceptance and approval is dependent on meeting their ideal standards. These damaging messages seem to reach children at every younger ages to create deep-seated beliefs about their own inadequacies.
The pressure created by other's expectations affects men and women in different ways, reducing their faith in their own abilities and creating a lack of self-confidence. Consequently they may find difficulty in pursuing their education, holding down relationships, building careers and even maintaining family ties simply because they are not confident and doubt their own worth.
Talking to a psychotherapist or counsellor, especially in terms of Existential therapy, can hugely help the sufferer to recognise who they are and how valuable they are. Although this work may not complete for months or years, as the sufferer talks confidentially about real feelings, thoughts, fears and worries, changes will become apparent within weeks in how they cope with and enjoy their life.
Adrian Pepper is a counsellor and psychotherapist, runs Help 4 You Limited, is trained as an Integrative Therapist often using Cognitive-Behavioural techniques. The registered office is located at 6 Deal Castle Road, Deal, Kent CT14 7BB.
Return to landing page. Last updated 1st January 2012
© 2012 Help4You Ltd. All Rights Reserved.
Here is our site map